After a few weeks in lockdown (that feel like forever), everyone seems to have found something that slightly resembles a routine, even if that routine is not knowing what day it is, cracking open a beer before noon and posting all of your meals on Facebook. Another way of combat the chronic loneliness and boredom that many people are facing is by wanking. Well duh!


The Colombian government thinks it needs explaining though, in great detail. They took the bizarre step of releasing this statement which encourages its citizens to masturbate at home. Here it is:

Auto-erotism is an option. There are ways of having sex pleasure that do not involve direct contact with other people. If you use sex toys, be sure to wash them with soap and water.

We know that other coronaviruses are not transmitted efficiently through sex. Remember that Covid is transmitted through intimate contact with another person and that saliva can transmit it. Avoid practices that carry such risk.

Make a decision that promotes individual and partner health and wellness. Abstinence can be a valid alternative while the crisis lasts. The safest partner is the partner with whom you live.

Having close contact – including sex – with the smallest number of people helps prevent the spread of COVID-19. Always have consensual relationships.

Close contact, including sex, with anyone outside your home should be avoided. If you have sex with other people, minimise the number of partners.

If you generally meet your sexual partners online or make a living from sex, consider putting off dating in person. Virtual dating may be an option.

Wash your toys with soap? Yeah, if you want to give yourself a yeast infection. A bit of warm water will do the trick! Also, it doesn’t seem like any of this really needed saying. I doubt people need much encouragement to pull their pants down and have a fiddle when they’ve got nothing but time on their hands. I’ve been the CEO of bored masturbating for years.

If you fancy taking heed of the Colombians advice, we have plenty of babes just waiting to connect with you to make your masturbating that little bit more fun.